by Elyse Mallay
Because at times, children behavior makes no sense.
I often wondered what life would look like while I was pregnant with my now 3-year-old daughter. I foreshadowed lots of traveling, showing her the world and conversations about the importance of being kind, inclusion, and how to be confident. What I didn’t fantasize is the absurd amount of time I’d spend telling her not to lick the fridge, or the creative bargains I’d make so she wouldn’t open the door on me mid-pee in a public restroom. “Do not open that door, or you will never be allowed to use the purple crayons again.” Don’t judge I was feeling quite vulnerable in the moment. And truth is, not even a law degree would help you win an argument with a toddler over a purple crayon.
Parents are sharing some of the weird moments in the child bringing. Here are some of the funniest and absurd comments from reddit:
When they prefer to make their lives harder
You know how when you have a toddler and try to use the bathroom they cry outside the door? Well, since it’s just me and her around I decided to just leave the door open. That should solve the problem, right? No. Toddler decided to close the door so she could cry outside of it.
Mine cried for five straight minutes at bedtime because she “wanted to close her eyes”....
My son - I think he was 4 or 5 then - went out the front door to get in the car so we could leave. It was raining. He didn’t want to get wet, so he stood there on the (uncovered) front porch, crying, and refusing to move. In the rain. Where he was getting wet.
When what they do kind of makes sense... but never mind, not really
My toddler wants to help me wipe and tries to check my butt (not just in the bathroom) to see if it’s clean. I guess I do it to him too, so it’s fair.
Bent over, spread her butt cheeks, and yelled "Papa! It's time to get in my bum!" She wanted him to put her on his shoulders. It kind of makes sense if you think about from her perspective.
I would give each kid a chocolate chip cookie. Before eating, both would set to counting the visible chocolate chips. The one who got a lower number would scream about the injustices of life.
When they’re just too literal
I told my seven year old to take a shower before bed. He did, then dressed himself in his own Pajamas. I found some
shampoo in his hair and told him to wash it out. He came back downstairs when he was done... and found he had showered in his pajamas. He was SURPRISED when I told him you are not supposed to be fully clothed when you go into the shower.
My son is smart, like really smart. But his comes from books and the like, not that wonderful common sense or street smarts like you'd hope they have. Of course he's seven so there's room to grow, right? Right????
We watched toy story 4 for the first time when it came out on Disney plus. When they started playing "you got a friend in me" I kind of joked "hey, I know this song!" (because we've been watching A LOT of toy story lately.) now every time we watch toy story 4 (like i said, it's a lot), my 3yo will turn to me in the beginning and say "daddy you know this song!" sometimes the things you would never consider important really stick with them.
When DNA is not in question
He is 8 and he’s super smart. Wins all the reading and math awards at school. But the kid has tried to put on his school clothes over his pajamas numerous times. And he’s so forgetful! I’ll ask him to put something away in his room and sometimes he will forget what he’s doing on the way to his room. He takes ukulele and guitar lessons weekly. The guitar studio is next to the baseball fields. Last spring, we were driving to one of his baseball games, with him fully dressed in his uniform and cleats, and he asked me if he was going to his ukulele lesson. We call him The Absent-Minded Professor.
--------------------------------------------------------
Truth is, it’s all madness and we’re all in this together. Storytelling, and sharing experiences with other parents has become a welcomed safe haven in this world of parenting. There are the times they’ll cry cause the food they bit is now “broken” or those times they’ll put on their school clothes over their pajamas. None of us knows what we are doing but we’re doing it anyways, and might I add, you’re doing a mighty fine job momma/dadda. What’s the latest episode of cray cray in your household?
